In his last years my father was very pessimistic about his own work. Maybe I noticed it more because I usually visited my family in the darkest time of the year, around Christmas.
It was unbearable for him to see that his work was not altogether successful. He feared what he saw with Mataré, that his work would suffer under aging.
He had always been more or less of a worrier, this became more apparent in the dark winter days.
He painted the view of the garden in winter several times, which was something of a victory.
Maybe because the snow brought light again? Those paintings are important to me, as well as the memory of a conversation about the different colors white and grey. |